More Like 'The Unthinkable Thoughts of Lulu'
A few weeks ago I told myself that if I didn't have a spacific issue to ponder that I wasn't to think or listen to my inner monologue. After listening to my inner monologue for years, I've come to realize that I am a complete idiot. I find myself looking at a little kid in Italy and thinking "Aww she can speak italian!" Well duh! SHE'S ITALIAN!! What else would she speak? Portuguese? Stuff like this all the time.So I decided to simply stop listening and thinking. There are a few flaws in this plan. It is easier said than done. It's suprisingly tricky, especially when bored, not to listen to the thoughts in your head. Or making the transition from pondering a certian issue to shutting down again. That is the really tricky one.
The other day I was thinking about deadlines for compostion, then the next thing I knew I was walking through downtown...I wouldn't say narrating but describing my actions as though I were reading a novel. Did that make sense? Thats the other thing, I have become even less articulate than before, something I didn't think was possible. But on the plus side, I don't randomly think of something really funny and start laughing in class for what appears to be no reason at all.
So here's the question, do I turn the inner monologue back on and just accept the fact that I'm an idiot while keeping most of it in my head? Or do I keep the inner monologue off and become a blubbering idiot (or at least a bigger one) to the outside world?
I think the inner monolgue will be turned on again.
I suddenly feel very exposed by sharing all this.
posted by lulu @ 1:11 PM
3 Comments:
did i read this before or something?
anyways i always do that stuff. mainly the narretive thing..like: she stepped onto the bus and smiled slightly. that sort of stuff. wow im lame..she thought while typing late into the night.
-kiyomi
I Vote for Inner monologue!!!
Its interesting because there are actually various types of inner momologue..for me usually its like the dull traffic of the city..from time to time you get somebody abusing loud enough to catch your attention..or something like that..
Of course, the style fo the monologue always keeps changing depending on what ive just read or seen..(my fav. version is the Harvey Pekar one..nothing like a grumpy bastard to put some cynical happiness into your life!)
WIth regard to it making you a blumbering idiot..if your as socially anxious as I am the monologue is great..cause then you can practice what your going to say..like 3-4 tims before saying...by which time of course the topic has changed or even if it hasnt it still comes out worse than expected..(leaving me with times like this where im left to wonder as to which side i just tryign to make a case for..hmm..)
Alrighty..thanks for your comments Lu! thats some pretty snazy german there..Im working on something ..should be on there soon enough..
Thought Id make you a bit jealous and tell ya that as IM in the southern hemisphere..its summer here!! and Ive got holidays!! woo hoo!
Cheers
dude ive never had a thought in my life....ever
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